Asia Trip 2013: The Trip in Numbers

So, as many of you reading this blog are likely to know, I recently went on a trip to south-east Asia with one of my best friends in the world, Shane. There's a lot to reflect on, so I'm going to write a few posts about it, but I wanted to start with the most basic and the most nerdy: the trip in numbers. Stats, figures, sums. So here are the key facts and figures. All of them are for me; Shane's will vary somewhat (e.g. he flew direct from Toronto, so his number of airports and list thereof is different).

Total Days: 20, including flight days.
Countries Visited: 5 (Hong Kong, Philippines, Thailand, South Korea, Japan)
Cities Visited: 8 (Hong Kong, Manila, Tagaytay, Bangkok, Seoul, Tokyo, Kyoto, Hiroshima)
Airports: 8 (Gatwick, Beijing [for a transfer], Hong Kong, Manila, Bangkok, Seoul Incheon, Tokyo Narita, Tokyo Haneda)
Hotels, Guesthouses and Hostels Stayed In: 8 (two different ones in Hong Kong, two different ones in Tokyo, one each in Bangkok, Seoul, Kyoto and Manila).
Total Kilometers Flown: 31645 (estimated by FreeMapTools)
Photos and Videos Taken on Primary Camera: 2008 (with a fair few more on our phones). These are just the ones we kept.
Bits of Electronic Kit Brought: 6 (iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Camera, Two X-Mini II speakers)
Bits of Electronic Kit Lost/Stolen/Broken: 1 (Kindle screen broke in Japan)
Bits of Electric Kit Brought: 5 (Universal plug adapter, 4-plug extension lead, iPad charger, multi-port USB charger, camera charger)
Electronic Cables Brought: 4 (Mini USB cable, Micro USB cable, 2 dock connector cables)
Electronic Cables Broken: 1 (one of the dock connector cables gave out-solder came lose on the USB side)
Electronic Gadgets and Cables Bought: (Two 3-in-1 charging cables, one memory stick, a wireless keyboard/mouse combo
Shirts Bought: 4 (in Hong Kong, tailored)
Other Things Bought: 5 (One Kyocera ceramic knife, one non-stick small saucepan, one silicon flipper to use with the saucepan, one pretty wooden flower vase as a gift for my girlfriend, one iPad case in fake wood as a gift for my girlfriend).
Volcanos Hiked Up: 1 (Taal, in the Philippines)
Nights We Went Clubbing: 6 (once in Manila, once in Seoul, three times in Tokyo, once in Hong Kong)
Nights We Did Karaoke: 1 (Manila at a fellow hostel-mate's request for her birthday. I wanted to try it in Tokyo, but they take it so seriously I didn't dare)
£1.75 Bottles Of Whiskey Drunk: 2 (on two nights, shared with others). Both in the Philippines.
Beers Drunk in One Hour of All-You-Can-Drink: 6 (I think)
Bullet Train Rides: 4 (Tokyo to Kyoto, Kyoto to Hiroshima and the return for each)
Taxi Rides: 10
Jeepney Rides: 8 (I think)
Metro/Subway Rides: Lots
Maximum Steps Walked In One Day: 41,000+ (according to Shane's pedometer)
Money Spent: £Just like, a lot
People Added to Facebook: 5

More posts to come about each place we went!

A Message to London Drivers

A funny thing happens to me when I cycle. I go completely Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I can be having the nicest, happiest, sunniest, positive day in the world. But the minute I kick my leg over that cross-bar, I will gut you like a fish should you dare make even the most minor of transgressions. It's a really weird road rage situation; I genuinely dislike the person I become, even if there is a weirdly compelling sense of freedom in such rage.

So I need to work on that. But there's a flipside to this. Because I know part of where the fury originates. There is a truly adversarial aspect to cycling in London. I suspect this is true of most major cities, but I would wager that the sheer number of cars and of cycles in London exacerbates the issue. There are bikes lane all over the place (which drivers often resent and periodically ignore) and a biking culture that ensures the streets are full of cycles. But the cars are also never-ending. So an animosity tends to build.

And there is one thing, above all else, that I'd like to ask of the drivers of London. One simple change I'd love to see that would lessen tensions and would feed into a wide-scale amelioration of the situation for the legion of cyclists who call this lovely city home. So I ask of the motorists: please, please, think about your choices. Don't run on auto-pilot. Drive consciously and deliberately and think about the implications of how you're driving.

I know this sounds obvious, but it happens less than you think. Driving is such a common-place occurrence that you do tune out; you know you shouldn't, but you do. And one of the principal manifestations of this, as it pertains to my daily cycle is the number of times that a motorist will zip out of a side-street, cut me off or change lanes directly into my space. Best case scenario, I slam on my brakes and waste my momentum. Worst case? Well, I'd rather not discuss the worst case, but it happens too often.

So, I'd like to propose the following: when you see a cyclist, or a pedestrian, or a rollerblader or a skateboarder coming down the street, err on the side of caution. I know it means taking time out of your day, but 19 times out of 20, the wait for me to clear the intersection or move past you so you can change lanes safely is measured in seconds. Even if the chance of hitting me is slim, please avoid if when the alternative is waiting an additional five seconds. I think that's fair.

I'm not laying all the blame for my road rage on the motorists on the road. I don't know why my switch is so thoroughly and reliably flipped when I'm on my bike. But I do know that I get really sick, really quickly, of having to slam on my brakes and skid to a halt, nearly rolling over some guy's hood, just so he doesn't have to slow down for the time it takes to say "good morning".

So, please: think and drive!

What now for this blog?

So, I've thought long and hard about what to do with this blog. I started it years and years ago, as just a way to ramble on and basically think/rant/philosophise out loud. I never expected much of anyone to read it, and my hit counter stats back that up pretty soundly. However, when Electra became ill, that changed. For the past two years, this blog was completely about Electra and her treatment, my views on it, prognoses and results. For all intents and purposes, this became my Electra & AML blog.

This served a few key purposes. For me, it was a form of catharsis, a way to get some things off my chest, and to help me get my head around what was going on. It brought me a sense of clarity to write about what was happening; putting the events and emotions into words helped me crystallise them. On a more pragmatic level, it was also a way for me to keep people-including friends and family-informed of what was going on so those who were far away could feel connected. It served these functions admirably, I feel, though obviously the time for that is now past. So, now what?

Since Electra's death, I've wondered about what to do with this blog that had started out as an infrequently-updated personal rambling space and had morphed into a singularly-focused site. As I saw it, there were a few main possibilities:

1. Close up the blog entirely. Leave it basically shrink-wrapped as a testament to what had happened and how I felt about what was happening.
2. Close it and delete it. Save backup copies of the writing for my own memories, but take it completely offline.
3. Return to a the pre-AML phase, posting as I felt like it, about whatever piece of whimsy floated into my head.

In the end, I have elected to go with the third option. I am aware that there may be a few more people following along than there were before, which may make me self-moderate a bit more than before, but I enjoy writing in this public forum and I'd like to continue to do so. I could start a new blog, but that seems like overkill to me. So I'm going to start transitioning this back to just being a "Dan's thoughts and ponderings" sort of place.

In parallel to this, I've begun working on a more serious blog, which I'm not yet ready to unveil, but hopefully will do soon. In this latter blog, I intend to write longer-form pieces, with more research and backing, about political, social, economic view and opinions.

This site, however, will stay more personal. I will probably still hit on politics and social issues from time to time, but it will be more of a "pub chat with mates" style than a researched and backed-up article. I will also periodically post things that are short, goofy, fun or whimsical. So if that sounds like something you're interested in, please follow along, via RSS, Facebook or Twitter (I'll try to post to the latter two when I do create a post). Word of warning, I'm highly unlikely to adhere to any form of reliable schedule with my posting here: it is far more likely to be sporadic and infrequent, but I'll do my best!

Electra & AML: One Year On

(See all posts related to Electra's ongoing treatment)

One year ago today, the world darkened a little bit as one of its beloved daughters was taken away. One year ago today, a final breath was drawn, final goodbyes were said and the end was reached for someone who should've had decades left before that moment. One year ago today friends, family and a boyfriend felt a profound loss. One year ago today, Electra quietly slipped away.

It has been a tumultuous year since then, as you can imagine. This experience has affected more people than I could count and in no doubt very different ways, but I hope that anyone reading this will excuse me for focusing on myself with this post; though I have some insight into how others are thinking and dealing with this loss, I can only truly speak for myself. And as this blog has been-to various extents-a form of catharsis for me, I want to reflect on that here.

The past year for me has been one of growth. I have been through myriad emotions and coping mechanisms: I was angry, I was depressed, I drank too much and flitted between partying and wallowing. I saw a therapist and talked with friends. I ate and drank and worked out. I bought crap I didn't need and spent many hours just thinking and reflecting, while spending an equal number just denying to myself and others that there was anything amiss. But I also loved and revelled. I spent time with friends and colleagues and started dating again. I reintegrated myself with London and its unique blend of vigor, frenetic energy and artistic and cultural variety. I started a new role at work, travelled to the Ukraine and started looking at where to travel to next.

And you know what? After 15 months of watching a loved one die; after months of struggling to come to terms with the unfairness of life and death; after the most trying and deflating and punishing year of my life, I'm actually in a pretty great place. I'm happy with where I am and where I'm going. I genuinely feel like I've come out the other side as a better person and am ready to take on life once again.

I did not get here alone. I have around me the best friends and family anyone could dream of. The outpouring of love and compassion I have felt is unparalleled. I have never wanted for a sympathetic ear or a distracting night at the pub (pro-tip: for all the complaints I periodically level at the British, my goodness do they get the pub right as a concept). I know that for much of this time, I wasn't a great friend: whether I was distraught or angry (at myself, the world or others) or just emotionally unavailable, I know that I wasn't always the best companion and for that I apologise. But the support never wavered for an instant. I got love and tenderness at the right times and a kick in the ass when I needed it. And I love you all for that.

So, where am I now? Well, I'm at the threshold to whatever comes next and-for a change-I'm pretty damn enthusiastic, optimistic and happy about that. I love where I live, I am busy pretty much all the time, I have no end of little projects I want to work on and things I want to do. But more than that, for possibly the first time in my life, I feel like I know what I want: I want to feel passion. I want to be excited, about the people in my life, about my job (ah, to dream the dream), about where I'm going next and what I'm doing next. That element has been missing for some time, but it's being rekindled. And for the first time, I actually feel pretty confident that I can achieve this, can get to where I want to be. I know it seems obvious, but to me that's huge. Paths feel open to me that I wouldn't have dreamed of before, and I finally feel like I know my priorities.

Electra is gone but never forgotten. She changed my life and my person for the better and I will always be thankful for that. But one year on, my life continues. I will pay her the best tribute I can imagine: to live my life fully and openly. To dream and strive and challenge myself. To work to better myself and my world and grasp at any opportunity I can. To fall in love again and make a meaningful life. Electra loved openly and wholeheartedly and it would do her memory a great disservice to not embrace that joie-de-vivre with my whole being. She was as interested in the world and its plethora of secrets, intricacies and contradictions as I am and this will be her legacy to me: a drive to always explore and to believe that I can. One of my favourite comic strips of all time is Calvin and Hobbes, which ended on one of the most beautiful strips I've ever seen:

One year ago today, Electra's last breath left her body and she lay still forever. But she has only died once. Banksy, the British street artist once said that you die twice: once when you stop breathing and once when someone says your name for the last time. I like that and by that measure, Electra still lives, as the Hobbes to my Calvin. She showed me the magic in the world, and will be with me as I explore it.